They say that you will never truly know someone until you are living together. Some couples, because of the highs of the joys of their relationship, forget that moving in together is light years away from spending five hours every day. Sure, those five hours seem like five minutes. You can’t wait to see them again. That made you think that “this is the one.” You cannot live without seeing the person, so why shouldn’t you move in together, right?
While many couples find that they are even more compatible after moving in, a lot also discover things they couldn’t fathom. No, it’s not like your partners are serial killers. This is something else. It’s the little things that can sometimes ruin a picture-perfect relationship. You’ll be surprised how insignificant these might all seem at first glance.
It wouldn’t matter the first few weeks. You are still enjoying the adrenaline of being together 24/7. But what happens when you’re so late at work, but you have to take out the trash outside because your partner forgot again? The first time might be okay but succeeding ones will slowly become annoying to the point that you’ll have to talk about it.
Surprisingly, a lot of couples didn’t think that the division of household chores can be a significant blow to their relationship. Many loving couples already broke up because they couldn’t agree who will wash the dishes, among other things.
Who has to take care of things around the house? Prepare to sit down and talk. It’s not just the ordinary chores either. It’s the whole plethora of having to maintain a home.
There are even more things you have to do now because of the pandemic. You have to make sure the air ducts are clean for proper air circulation inside the house. The question is, who will take care of duct cleaning? What about the other things such as roof repair, landscaping, electricity, and plumbing works?
When you’re dating, it’s easy to ignore each other’s finances. You don’t know where your partner’s money goes. And your partner doesn’t know either that you use your credit card as if you own the company. But these things matter when you’re living under one roof and sharing the expenses. What happens if you’re tasked to pay for the phone bill and you couldn’t?
Marriages crumble because of money issues. It’s one thing to be bad at handling finances. It’s another to be neck-deep in debt because you have a shopping addiction. Yes, this is something you needed to discuss with your partner before agreeing to move in together.
You will be surprised to know that a lot of men don’t see women as their equal even in the 21st century, sadly. Women get the surprise of their lives when they realize the person they’ve been with for five years does not view them as equals. Some men still expect women to cook, do the dishes, do the laundry, and run every errand imaginable.
This should be a deal-breaker for women. If your partners don’t want to recognize you as an equal, it’s time to reassess your relationship. Is this the one you want to be with for the foreseeable future? It’s easy to ignore the warning signs when you are still dating. But once you start sharing a home, it’s unsafe for your mental health to be with someone who doesn’t view you as an equal.
Have you talked about how much you earn before moving in? Do you know that sometimes, this is a major point of contention for couples? Some women feel that they shouldn’t shoulder responsibilities at home when they earn bigger than men. Meanwhile, some men feel intimidated by women who have higher salaries. In both cases, this is problematic.
Men shouldn’t feel the need to be better than women in terms of salaries. Women should still do their part in the household even if they’re bringing in the money. It takes two to tango and that adage rings true until today. Making the relationship last longer isn’t about who makes the most. Yes, really. But it’s surprising how many times couples fail because they couldn’t agree on money.
Relationships are tricky. There are good days and there are bad days. The trick is to give more than you take. While you shouldn’t be a pushover, it’s important to provide as well as to take. Moving in is a big deal whether you’ve been together for five months or five years. There will always be surprises but with love and respect, they shouldn’t matter that much.