Taking Things Slow: The Benefits Of Not Rushing Into Things When Dating

couple during a sunset

We live in a generation where everything is instant. We’re surrounded by technological marvels that allow us to enjoy life more.

Instant and Digital

Years ago, you need to either place long distance calls or send telegrams to people in different parts of the world. Now you can easily talk to each other via video calls over the internet.

Back in the day, you’d need to go to haircut places and salons to get your hair done. Now there are several gadgets and devices available that allow you to DIY it at home.

Decades ago, instant coffee and noodles were unheard of. Food and beverages were all prepared the hard way. Now, you can enjoy dinner by just popping in a pre-packed meal in the microwave.

We’ve gotten so used to getting things and results instantaneously that patience has gone out the window. When you open a website or page, it already frustrates you if it takes a few seconds to fully load. Imagine how bad it would be for you back in the days of dial-up internet.

We have somehow carried over that digital mindset into dating and the way we do relationships. There are now apps that make dating appear easier, especially for the lonely ones. You can easily connect with a person you like based on his or her profile and eventually hook up.

However, even if we disregard the perils of meeting dangerous people online, virtual dating and matchmaking just don’t measure up to the security provided by in-person, honest-to-goodness dating. Especially the getting-to-know-you aspect of it. it goes beyond just telling each other stuff about yourself.

Having said that, there are certain advantages to being patient when it comes to dating. We’re not being prudes, but we see the value of waiting. Take a look at what we have and judge for yourself.

You get to lay down a solid foundation for the relationship.

Dating, as we all know it now, basically came from the concept of courtship.

By definition, courtship is the act of pursuing a relationship with someone with marriage in mind.

While the concept may seem outdated for today’s times, it still remains as one of our higher standards in dating. In most cases, people date because they’re looking for the right one to be with and grow old with. However, we’re all aware that not every relationship stands the test of time. Rushing into things all the more jeopardizes the chances of a relationship’s longevity.

Dating should be seen as a time when you can lay the proper foundation in the relationship. It is a time when you can deepen your friendship and go beyond the romance. While romance plays a big part in any relationship, it’s not the end-all and be-all of it.

When you build a structure, you need to work on the foundation first to ensure that it will stand against the test of time and the elements beating at it, not to mention the wear and tear. Engineers and architects labor over foundational planning to ensure the safety of the people who will occupy the building. It takes time and a lot of effort to build a solid foundation.

Similarly, you need to spend enough time building the right foundations in your relationship. The romance will eventually fade. The honeymoon stage will be over. Once that is done, you’re left with friendship. If you weren’t able to build a good friendship — a good foundation — in your dating stage, you might feel like you ended up with a stranger once the intense and passionate emotions die down.

Time gives you the luxury of knowing each other more intimately.

couple eating outside

When we say intimately, we’re not referring to the sexual aspect of the relationship.

Taking your time in a relationship gives you the chance to get to know the person more: how they think; how they process emotions and thoughts; what ticks them off; what makes them laugh; what motivates them; what they’re most afraid of.

Time is a luxury in any relationship.

These are the things you won’t get to discover when you rush into things. These things are crucial because, at the end of the day, you’re not just looking for love but companionship. Once the romance has mellowed down, you need to find ways to still enjoy each other’s company in non-romantic ways.

You avoid getting hurt a lot.

There are a lot of things that could go wrong when you rush into a relationship.

Often, emotionally-charged couples who dive into a relationship without taking the time to lay down the right foundations find themselves hurting a lot. You know it to be true. You see it all around you. Perhaps, it has even happened to you at least once.

You see couples who get into a relationship and immediately get married on a whim only to find themselves divorcing after a few years (sometimes, even months!).

Those who decide to engage in one-night stands leave themselves vulnerable to exposing themselves to greater risks of compromising their health. This doesn’t just go for those who are into casual sex.

It also applies to those who engage in a sexual relationship with someone too early in the relationship.

Sexual intimacy creates emotional bonds between two people. When done in the right setting, it can help build a beautiful and lasting relationship. However, if ill-timed, it can turn into emotional entanglement which often leads to anxiety and depression.

Just because waiting seems like an outdated concept doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea. Some things just should not be rushed and taken lightly. After all, good things come to those who wait.

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