You’ve dated for years. It’s about time you move in. Those years spent together are indicative of your readiness to share a house with your partner, right? Not exactly. Moving in with a partner is the biggest step you can take in a relationship. It isn’t an easy decision to make. Moving in means sharing not only space but your finances and every aspect of your life. But if you know each other’s quirks and have accepted them already, then you’re in a good place to talk about sharing a home.
Understanding Each Other’s Habits
Do you know the little things can cause a partnership to break down? Simple things like leaving the kitchen cabinet open or not putting back the cap on the toothpaste can make you regret moving in together. However, if you have a good grasp of these quirks, then you’re more ready to move in than you think. Have a lot of sleepovers. Stay with each other during the weekend. Travel together. Practice being with each other 24/7 without necessarily moving in together. If you can’t stand these little annoying quirks, you won’t likely survive living together.
Talking About Finances
Are you not comfortable talking about money? This is a major contention point among couples. Please talk about your finances before moving in together. Who’s going to pay the rent? Who’s earning more? Are you going to pool together your finances? There are a lot of questions surrounding money. The best time to talk about is right now. Having that conversation after the move is too late. You must both be open about how you spend your money and how willing are you to share living expenses.
Knowing Your Relationship Status
It might sound weird but plenty of couples have moved in together without knowing where they are in the relationship. You should talk about it. Are you exclusively dating? Does one of you want an open-relationship kind of set up? Do you understand your roles in the relationship? Are you getting married or not? Ambiguity is the root of all misunderstandings in a relationship. You should both be aware of where you stand in the relationship. If marriage is off the table, for example, that should be clear to both of you.
Getting the Kids Talk Out of the Way
Aside from your views on marriage, the idea of having kids is another thing you have to talk about. Don’t move in until both of you are on the same page about kids. It is unfair for any party to give up wanting to have kids for the sake of another. Sure, it may be okay right now because you haven’t thought about having kids in the near future. But what when that time comes? What happens when you suddenly realize you want to have kids and your partner isn’t jumping at the idea?
Becoming Harder Not to Move in Together
Are you constantly packing toiletries and clothes because you’re staying over your partner’s apartment? Is one day too long for you to be apart? Are you sure you aren’t in the honeymoon phase of the relationship? If you feel that it’s a hassle not to move in, then it may be time to get a house or apartment together.
Creating a Repair Formula
It is not normal for couples not to have argued in all the time they spent together. Do not move in together unless you’ve had a full-blown fight that you successfully repaired. By success, that means solving, laughing about, and even forgetting the cause of the fight. You need a formula on how to fight and repair those arguments. A good one would be for one to back down when the other is in a full fight mode. There’s no use arguing with someone who’s only seeing red. Once everyone has settled, you should talk about why you argued in the first place and how to go from there.
You pride yourself on being independent. Cohabiting means checking in with your partner once in a while. Sure, it’s still healthy to spend time on your own, but that’s going to be harder when you live together. Your partner will want to know what time you’ll go home. You also have to be cognizant that another person is living in the house, so you can’t just do what you like. If that doesn’t bug you anymore, then you’re in a good position to move in together.
This is a huge step. Are you sure you’re up for it? They say that before moving in with someone, you should think about it a million times. Please do so. The future of your relationship is hinged on how successfully you can share a home. Do not gamble that away by jumping into this with your eyes closed.